


Thin Mints

by Ladybug_21



Category: Big Little Lies (TV)
Genre: Cookies!, Fluff, Gen, The Monterey Five Being Deliciously Petty About Truly Stupid Stuff (Once Again)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladybug_21/pseuds/Ladybug_21
Summary: Oh my god, Celeste thought,Madeline and Renata are literally the only two people on earth who could dredge this much melodrama out of Girl Scout cookie sales.





	Thin Mints

**Author's Note:**

> Just a very silly story idea I scribbled out a few months back, after running into some Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a grocery store. (For the non-Americans reading, the Girl Scouts are the U.S. version of Girl Guides, and their [annual cookie sales](https://www.girlscouts.org/en/cookies/all-about-cookies/support-girls-success.html) across the States every spring are a Very Big Deal for Scouts and cookie-lovers alike.) Falls somewhere shortly after Season 1, or wherever it makes sense for Madeline and Renata to be hanging out, but still apt to snap at each other a bit for Competitive Mom Reasons. I own no rights to _Big Little Lies_ , nor to anything related to the Girl Scouts.

"Well, that's wonderful!" Renata smiled a bit too broadly at Madeline. "We were planning to have Amabella join the local Girl Scout troop, too."

Celeste glanced between Renata and Madeline, and immediately sensed danger.

"Great," Madeline said, also now sporting a slightly strained smile. "How nice that they'll get to know each other better while they're off camping in the woods and doing community service..."

"Also," Jane cut in, "I will happily buy all of the Girl Scout cookies that either of them feel like selling me."

 _Shit_ , thought Celeste, because that was the one related subject that she had really been hoping no one would bring up. She bit her lip, hoping that Jane would stop there, but after taking a sip of mocha, Jane continued: "Because I'm serious, I'm kind of addicted to Thin Mints, and I usually buy, like, seven boxes a season. And I keep them in my freezer and eat them throughout the year."

Only then did Jane pick up on the way that Celeste was shaking her head subtly from across the table. _What?_ Jane mouthed. But the damage was already done.

"That is _so great_ to know, Jane," Madeline said emphatically, "because Chloe would be _thrilled_ to sell you as many boxes of Girl Scout cookies as you could possibly want."

"As would Amabella," Renata added. "Because I _know_ that you wouldn't want to deprive either of Ziggy's friends of the chance to develop her entrepreneurial skills, right?"

"Entrepreneurial skills?" Madeline wrinkled her nose in Renata's direction.

"Yes, entrepreneurial skills," Renata insisted. "Isn't that what Girl Scout cookies are all about? Teaching girls how to be business-minded and unafraid of making their voices heard loud and clear, for the sake of selling the public on the product they're marketing?"

"Jesus Christ," snorted Madeline. "If we're going to try to put a social value on Girl Scout cookies, it's that they're a delicious way to endear yourself to people you've never met, while making your friends like you even more."

Jane had pressed her lips together in an attempt not to burst into laughter. She raised her eyebrows at Celeste, before glancing sideways at Madeline and Renata, who were bristling at each other from their seats.

"Well, fortunately Chloe has _so many_ friends," Renata said sweetly. "Surely that means that she won't mind if Amabella cuts into her sales among the Otter Bay families just a _little_ bit?"

"Oh, but Amabella's doing this to be _entrepreneurial_ , right?" Madeline retorted. "So why doesn't she go to one of her CEO parents' companies and solicit sales from the people there, who earn at least six figures and probably have an entire freezer reserved _just_ for Girl Scout cookies?"

"Okay, before we even get to the very real issue of workplace ethics, you are being absolutely _ridicu_ —"

"Hi, Bonnie!" Jane called to distract everyone, and she waved an arm vigorously to draw Bonnie's attention to their table in front of Blue Blues. "How was class today?"

"Great, thanks," said Bonnie, seemingly oblivious to the two joggers who had deliberately slowed down to stare at her as they passed. "Mind if I pull up a chair?"

"Of course," Madeline said, just a touch too aggressively. "In fact, we were just discussing the fact that both Chloe and Amabella are going to be joining the local Girl Scout troop. Is Skye planning to join, as well?"

Celeste sighed quietly. Bonnie wasn't going to engage in any quiet-but-fierce battles over whose daughter could build fires faster or earn badges quicker or sell more boxes of cookies in a given afternoon. But her answer probably wouldn't do much to diffuse the situation, either.

"We haven't really decided," Bonnie shrugged.

"In that case," Renata said, "can we ask you to weigh in on what you think the Girl Scouts stand for? If you had to choose between, say, leadership and insipid popularity contests."

"Leadership and exploitative capitalism run amok," Madeline interrupted over the end of Renata's spiel.

"I thought that the whole program was about fostering leadership and cooperation," Bonnie replied diplomatically. "You know, helping each other out through teamwork. Thanks, Tom," she added, as Tom brought her a chai latte without Bonnie's needing to ask.

"Teamwork does seem like a great value to emphasize," Jane chimed in, raising her eyebrows at Madeline meaningfully.

"What if Chloe and Amabella sold cookies together?" Celeste offered. "That way, a win for one would be a win for both."

"Ever the mediator, Celeste," Madeline scoffed. She glanced at Renata. "Well?"

"I suppose it wouldn't kill either of us," Renata grumbled. "Bonnie, if Skye does join, she can be on the team, too."

"See, problem solved," Celeste said under her breath, exchanging a glance with Jane that was equal parts amusement and exasperation.

"To teamwork," Jane proposed, raising her mocha.

"To teamwork," the rest of the moms agreed, raising their own drinks.

Madeline shot Renata a sidelong glance.

"And also to kicking the sorry asses of all of those other moms with daughters in the Girl Scout troop, let's be honest," she added.

And Celeste and Jane and Bonnie laughed, as Madeline and Renata, sporting matching smirks, clinked mugs.


End file.
